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- Miss Shanice
- I'm a Daughter, a Sister, an Author, a Friend to many and a Student. And I love being each and every one of them.
Thursday 4 March 2010
Chapter 7: Conflicted Minds & A Rash Decision
03:22 | Posted by
Miss Shanice |
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Conflicted Minds & A Rash Decision
EPOV
I’ll admit, I was nervous. I killed dangerous, armed and well... fucking skilled men for a living without the slightest blink of an eye. Yet here, right in front of me, stands a young woman only asking to make a deal. I’ll admit I didn’t know what it was, but her eyes bright with amusement and a slyly sweet smile on her face and already I’m shitting bricks.
Fuck.
Admittedly this young woman had a peculiar effect on me. Whenever she bit her pouty, full lower red lip, I felt a stir of longing spark in my abdomen and trickle down to my groin, something which, until now I had refused to acknowledge. I knew she was young, barely reaching her twenties, but I was afraid to ask just how young she was. My brain secretly hoped she was much younger than me so that I could push away my ungodly thoughts; however my body sincerely wished she was legal.
In the early hours of the morning I could hear the paramedics in Bella’s apartment, removing the bodies, and speaking of how they couldn’t understand why the family would have been brutally murdered. Little did they know that they could have found the answers had they turned to a different sector within their building, and questioned the ghostly pale officer on the top floor.
I had had hardly any sleep; a lot of things had been running through my head when I was listening to the loud voices and movements from next door, one of them being Bella. I knew what I had to do, what Carlisle had constantly ingrained in my brain about my occupation. I also knew that if I killed her myself it would be something I just simply wouldn’t be able to live with. As much as Carlisle stressed the matter of self-preservation, killing her would feel like I was going back on the whole ‘no women, no kids’ rule.
One other thing which had sprung to my mind was Aro. As good as he was at covering his tracks with his past killings, he had let one slip this time round, and therefore his job would be in jeopardy knowing that there was essentially a witness to the whole thing who could get him fired, and even locked up. Not only a witness to him being the last person who had conversed with Bella’s step father, but being an occupant in the same household, and I knew that if Aro found her, he would kill her in a heartbeat. The day that I had allowed Bella in my apartment, I heard Aro asking if any of them had seen her, and cursing excessively that she needed to be found. Although Demetri had glanced at my door, with narrow suspicious eyes, he luckily didn’t pursue the matter, and told Aro that he hadn’t seen a young girl. I don’t know if he denied it because he truly didn’t believe that she was linked in any way, or if he had an underlying motive. Either way, it kept floating to the forefront of my mind and I knew I had to stay on the ball.
But then I asked myself why? Why did I have to stay on the ball? Why should I be worrying about this girl that had interrupted with my everyday routine of life with her problems? And that’s when I knew what it was I had to do. I knew I couldn’t kill her myself, something about her brought about a softer side to me, a side which I knew could be dangerous to me if embraced in my line of work, and so I needed to get rid of her, and fast.
And I planned to do just that, tell her to leave, knowing that I wouldn’t have to worry about being found out, because Aro would surely find her before she had the chance of blabbing to anyone about me. He would, effectively, do my job for me. And yeah that shit may have sounded cruel, but at the end of the day, that’s life. So with newfound determination, and satisfaction that I had solved my predicament, I decided to get back into my daily routine and got up, shrugging out of my shirt and laying on the floor, preparing to do a few hundred sit-ups, as I had every morning when there wasn’t a female guest staying down the hall.
After the first fifty or so, I noticed the sky brightening, the daylight slowly trickling through the windows and steadily pouring every dark corner of my living room with light. I carried on pushing my chest up towards my knees, revelling in the intense burning of my muscles screaming out in protest as I pushed myself further, faster, harder while my breathing spiked up, and the sweat gathered on my forehead as I continued counting silently to myself. After I had passed my seventieth I heard the door down the hall open, and I carried on lifting myself up, trying to get in as many as possible before she came in and I had to deal with the situation in hand. My heart-rate spiked even higher as her footsteps neared closer before they faltered at the living room door. When I head her silent gasp as she reached the living room, something within me told me to push myself farther, not to stop and to let her watch. After a while, I greeted her, and relished in the blush that attacked her cheeks as she looked down at the floor.
I felt assured that, when she nodded as I told her to make herself some breakfast, she would be safe and I would be able to take a shower without worrying about her safety. I also scolded myself for thinking like that when I would be tossing her out of my place within half an hour, and so pushed the thought to the back of my mind.
However, when I exited the shower, got dressed and went to talk to Bella, only to find that she was no where to be found I couldn’t help the panic that struck me. I could feel the dread trickling through my nerves as I went into the spare bedroom to see if she had retreated there, only to find it empty. My mind automatically came to the conclusion that she had been taken and was already thinking of different strategies on killing whoever the fuck it was who had her. I tried to think rationally as I grabbed my gun from the side table next to the leather chair and cocking the lever back, reassuring myself that she couldn’t have gotten that far, and that if I left now I would hopefully be able to trace her.
I flew open the front door, but then immediately stepped back as I saw two figures retreating towards the elevator. Their uniform informed me they were the FBI, and I noticed the torn yellow duct tape fluttering uselessly against the door frame to Bella’s apartment. I treaded silently but swiftly inside, focusing my ears on any sounds. I could hear faint rustling from the living room, along with strained heavy breathing.
Bella.
My body relaxed slightly and I exhaled a silent breath of relief, pushing my gun into the holder around my waist and folding my arms stiffly. My panic had dissipated, and in its place came anger, and irritation at how she could be so careless with her own life.
After questioning her on why she had left, I had to remind myself that I needed to get a grip. She wasn’t my responsibility and the sooner I could register that fact, the sooner I could get back to doing my job.
But as Bella stared at me with those bright swirling brown eyes, and her full red lips were curled into a sweet smile, the only thing that was in my mind was how she effected me, and how it was difficult for my brain to process any rational thoughts. While I gazed back at her, I admittedly was feeling quite vulnerable.
Which was ridiculous.
I never felt vulnerable.
I shifted in my seat as she came closer still, I couldn’t help my eyes instinctively flashing to my gun on the table, I knew she wasn’t a danger to me, but I was trained to severely damage anyone who entered my personal space and pressurized me into an uncomfortable position. My eyes refused to meet hers, knowing that I couldn’t afford to be trapped by her stare, however she seemed to notice my hesitance, and ducked her head, tilting it, trying to meet my eyes, only for me to dodge them, not before catching the smirk on her face as she stood right in front of me, and dropped to her knees.
My body automatically stiffened, muscles coiled and locked, ready to spring in defence as the fall brought her even closer to me, her torso just a few centimetres from my knees. I held my breath and closed my eyes tightly shut, willing myself to relax and just let her speak so I could calmly ask her to retreat back to her seat.
“Edward?” her calm voice rang out to me softly.
“Yes Bella...” I hesitated, jaw clenched, opening my eyes but not looking at her, instead frowning down at her position on the floor. It was only then that the smaller part of my brain noticed the position she was in:
On her knees, leaning relatively close to my lap.
I tightly shut my eyes again and my hands which were resting on my thighs balled up into fists as I prayed that this situation wouldn’t spark off any crude images in my mind, knowing that, had I re-opened my eyes and focused on the delicate heart shape of her face, the soft creaminess of her skin, and the plumpness of her lips my prayers would immediately go unanswered.
“How about this” she spoke softly, “I work for you and in an exchange you teach me how to...” she trailed off as I snapped my eyes open, ultimately distracted from my earlier predicament by her words.
“clean.” She whispered, finishing her sentence as her eyes widened and her eyebrows rose, silently pleading me but I focused my attention past her shoulder, staring at the plain plastered wall behind the small kitchen.
“I’ll do anything Edward” she continued pleading, “I’ll get the grocery shopping, ill cook, I’ll clean, and I’ll even wash your goddamn clothes.”
I cringed at her words, my eyes still focused firmly on the wall and not on her face. The idea of her working for me was simply absurd, but more than that, the idea of me teaching her how to be like me was even worse. She shouldn’t want to learn how to be a killer, having to struggle with keeping her humanity after ending lives on a daily basis. Having to draw away from society and focus solely on your job, and extensively keep your body in shape. The training never ended in my life, I always had to work on getting better, keeping fitter, being a quick learner.
Being a quick murderer.
“Edward?” she spoke softly, bringing me back from my thoughts and I finally slid my eyes to her face, her expression was tight, her lips in a small pout bracing for whatever my answer was, but as I looked into her eyes, I saw the small flicker of hope there. I looked past her again; silently angry and disgusted that she should be so hopeful as to become the creature that I was.
I woodenly shook my head at her, too angry at myself to form words. I had introduced her to my environment, and effectively tainted her. I had already ruined her life the moment I let her inside my home, and she discovered the suitcase of guns lying on my kitchen table. She was an innocent, had harmed no one, or done anything to deserve such a fate, and yet here she was, poisoned by my lifestyle and oblivious to it.
I was a monster.
“I promise I would learn quickly Edward, I wouldn’t be a trouble” she spoke hurriedly, her voice rising in pitch and desperation as I continued shaking my head. She rested her hands atop of my knees and I visibly tensed as the warmth of her fingers burnt through the fabric of my jeans, warming my skin as she continued to hysterically babble words at me.
“...and I’ll do everything around this place, and I won’t interfere with your personal life or anything but I need this Edward, I need you to te-“
“No” I replied firmly, trying to end the discussion, flinching from the pleading tone of her voice.
“Please” She begged, her hands grasping my knees tighter as her wide brown eyes stared pleadingly up into my own.
“I just...I’m sorry, but I don’t think you’d be able to do it Bella” I muttered as softly as possible, trying not to sound too harsh but firm enough so that she knew I wasn’t going to change my mind. Her jaw clenched and her eyes flickered to the hand gun on the table. I saw the determination flash in her eyes and knew what was coming next.
Shit.
My mind processed her quickly lifting herself from the floor and swiftly grasping her hand incorrectly around the gun. Knowing that this wouldn’t end well I leapt out of the chair; flashing my arm out and caught her wrist whilst my other arm snaked around her waist tightly. However, the shock of my actions caused her to gasp and squeeze the trigger clumsily and the loud noise of the bullet tearing through the ceiling resounded through the room, the limp grip she had on the gun caused the recoil to shoot up her arm violently which, in turn, caused her to do possibly the worst thing there was, and dropped the gun. My body flew into action as I cursed and wrapped both arms around her causing her to cry out as I flung her around, dropping us both to the floor immediately as the second bullet rebounded and tore through the linoleum floors of the kitchen.
We were both breathing heavily, as the kitchen became laced with thick silence apart from our laboured breaths. I roughly pushed myself away from her as she whimpered against the kitchen floor.
“What the hell Bella! Jesus Christ do you have a death wish?!” I yelled angrily, “was that your way of proving to me how good you could be to learn?!” I knew I needed to get a grip on myself and calm down, none of it was technically her fault, but I couldn’t help the blazing anger that soured through my veins and burned under my skin. She could have killed herself from her stubborn attempts to prove me wrong.
“What do you want me to do?!” she cried at me as she pushed herself up from the floor and wrapped her arms shakily around her knees, “I have no place to go Edward. I’m not stupid; I know that if I step outside that door they’ll kill me”
“With that stupid stunt you just pulled you’ve nearly done their job for them” I snarled back at her, reaching for the abandoned gun and quickly flicking the safety on before placing it back on the table.
I took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of my nose, closing my eyes and trying to ease my anger away. I was rarely ever like this, especially in the presence of female company, but I concluded that it was something about this female company that made me react in such a manner, saving her life one minute to preparing to shoot her the next, to deciding to just get her to leave instead, and ultimately saving her life in the process, yet again. Fuck it was tiring.
The buzzing of my cell snapped me out of my reverie and I sighed heavily before walking past Bella who was still sitting on the floor, her arms wrapped tightly around her knees and her eyes flicking to the gun on the table warily. I figured she had learned her lesson and so wasn’t worried about leaving her in the same room as the firearm. I walked into the living room and picked up my cell phone and flipped it open to find a new text message from Carlisle.
I heard gunshots, I’m coming up.
Shit.
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