Edward Masen: Hitman: Chapter 5: Indecisions

Thursday 4 March 2010

Chapter 5: Indecisions

03:16 | Posted by Miss Shanice | Edit Post

Indecisions

EPOV

I leaned back in the leather chair, brushing my fingers over my gun absently and thinking about the beautiful girl down the hall. I was possibly in the worst scenario.

Never in all my life did I hate the rules than now. Before it had been no problem; when someone discovered who I was, they were in no way attached to me. Before, the rules had made perfect sense and in a way they still did. That doesn’t mean I have to like it and only now did I regret vehemently agreeing with Carlisle’s words.

“You can’t afford to be discovered Edward. Remember that. Now don’t get me wrong; I know you would never be that reckless,” he chuckled and shook his head slightly before his face became abruptly serious, “But rules are rules. You have to eliminate the evidence, whether they happen to be human or not Edward. Your career depends on it.”

Eliminate the evidence.

Eliminate any person who had the chance of leaking what I did for a living.

Who right now was Bella.

I had to kill her.

I groaned and dropped my head in my hands, rubbing my temples in slow rhythmic circles.

Why her?

I sighed frustrated at myself. What was the point in me opening the damn door if I was only going to kill her myself? How was I any better?

I thought back to early this morning.

I had awoken early from having yet another nightmare about my father. This shit was really starting to piss me off. Here I was just turned twenty three and I was still having nightmares like a fucking kid. I just felt like I needed to get up and talk about it and I knew there was only person who I could go to.

Carlisle

When I walked into Carlisle’s shop, he was awake as usual, sitting at the same desk. The blinds were shut and the room was dark apart from one lone candle that was placed on the grey desk, causing the lower half of his face to glow as the gold flame burned. His blue eyes twinkled from the light as he looked up at me, a small smile threatening to grace his firm lips.

“Another one? They’re quite often Edward” he mused quietly, returning his eyes to the candle light.

“I know” I sighed, running a hand through my hair and gripping it tightly in my fingers before relaxing and dropping my arm, the movement causing the small candle flame to flicker and twist furiously before it stilled and glowed brighter.

Carlisle nodded absently, and then slowly raised his palm in a gesture for me to sit.

“Where’s Em and Jazz?” I enquired as I lowered myself down on the wooden chair. Carlisle smiled up at me, as he usually did when I asked about them. He’s always liked the fact that, over time, I became comfortable enough around them and accepted them as my brothers.

He chuckled softly “Emmett is out, as usual mingling with the ladies”

I laughed along with him. It was just like Emmett.

“Jasper is with Alice” He muttered after a beat of silence.

“Of course” I murmured in understanding, gazing broodingly at the soft flame, shining gold, with soft wisps of orange into the dark room.

We all worried about Jasper’s relationship with Alice. We could tell by the way he acted with her that they were serious and it scared Carlisle; he had learned the hard way that being close to someone only made you a vulnerability to other people. Only made it easier for you to be reached, and caused pain. I had never seen Carlisle so angry, so grief-stricken, but we never talked about it, it was an unspoken rule, to never bring it up. Ever.

He sighed quietly and I could tell he was thinking the same thing before he looked up at me and smiled like a father would smile to his son, a smile filled with adoration, and mild concern.

“Anyway, what was it about this time?” his soft calm voice filled the space, and I wondered about how he always kept such a placid demeanour. When it came to his family we knew that was just how he was, when it came to his business however, he used it as a way of intimidating people. The fact that he never got angry with anyone yet was able to kill so easily kept him in good respect with a lot of people. There were whispered words of how he was the best at his job, and although he had announced his early retirement, everyone knew who to go to when they wanted someone killed. The only difference now was that the jobs got passed down to me; the next best thing. I was slowly gaining his title and nothing made him more proud.

I came back to the present as I remembered his question. I snorted quietly “My father, who else? It’s always about my father” I muttered the last part dryly, pushing a lock of hair away from my brow, but it only returned and I sighed in exasperation. There was no taming it.

He laughed gently at my response and nodded once, clasping his hands together and leaning them firmly on the table.

“To this day you still remind me of him you know. He was a good man” he sighed, and shook his head lightly.

“That he was” I agreed softly. I started glaring at the candle that was glowing with such bright life and warmth, wishing it could burn and die out. Wishing I could be glowing the same way. Wishing I could have some sort of positive light in my life. The flame fluttered gently, as if to mock my thoughts, and taunted me with its glow.

“You can’t blame yourself for what happened Edward. I know you still do; I can see it in your eyes. The guilt, but he knew what life he was dragging you and himself into when he accepted the offer”

His scolding tone snapped my head up to look at him, and the intensity in his eyes.

“He wouldn’t have had to accept shit if it wasn’t for me” I spat, my tone coming out harsher with the disgust I felt for myself, knowing that, had I not been born, not only my father, but my mother also would be alive and together, having their own golden glow of light and happiness.

He sighed and hung his head, shaking it, disagreeing. “Your father never regretted having you Edward, ever. He was always so proud of you and never once said a bad word about you. Elizabeth? Well I have never seen her so excited when she announced her pregnancy, all smiles and laughter.”

I laughed darkly at his words, my voice becoming bitter, “Yeah, little did she know that her happy pregnancy would be the death of her.”

“She wanted you saved Edward,” he murmured gently, with his eyes closed and his hands held tighter against each other. Carlisle may be perfect at keeping calm at all times, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t without effort.

“And what about my father?” I asked sharply. “Did he want me saved? Would he really rather lose a wife only to gain a son? A son which, if his wife had lived he would of had countless other chances at having? What about that Carlisle?” My strained voice and my heavy exhalations disrupted the flame slightly, twisting and winding against my words.

Carlisle stayed silent, letting me get it all out; my words were nothing new to him. I had said the same thing when I first arrived here at the tender age of eleven, tears streaming down my young face and untamed anger and hatred in my eyes. I always tried pushing the memory away, it always crept back.

“It wasn’t about the money Edward. He didn’t accept Laurent’s offer so he could have enough money to keep you and him. He had plenty of that already. It was all about his image, and his respect. Whether he had an extra mouth to feed or not, he still would have made the same decision.” He pursed his lips and raised an eyebrow at me, daring me to argue.

“Whatever,” I mumbled, dropping my head in my hands, gripping my hair tightly with my fingers, and shutting my eyes tightly, wishing that I could see her, see my mother and the beauty that everyone had told me she held. I never got the chance to get the picture that had always been on my father’s bedside table when I got dragged from London to here all those years ago.

Carlisle sighed heavily. “Would you like some jobs? Help take your mind off of it all?”

I shook my head gently, something about the nightmare I had last night was different and had affected me worse than any other day. I knew if I took a job I would still be distracted and probably end up getting shot in the process.

“No, I think I’ll just go back home, do some stretches or some shit,” I said softly, my head still in my hands, “Tell the boys I said hi,” I added.

“Of course,” he murmured and I lifted my head, narrowing my eyes once again at the candle flame in front of me, before pushing away from my chair and leaving the shop without a backward glance. I pushed open the building door next to the shop and started the journey of the flights of stairs wearily, mulling over Carlisle’s words about my father. Although talking to him never helped I always found myself returning to him to hear the same words over and over.

I undid the cuffs on my black shirt and rolled them up my arms as I climbed the last flight of stairs and ran my hand through my hair with a resigned sigh. As I reached the top and took the first few steps down the hallway, my eyes locked with a figure standing outside my door. I recognized the wavy waist length of soft mahogany hair and slender figure perfectly, and her name which I had learnt to be Bella the night before, flashed in my mind. I watched her for a couple of seconds, slowly edging closer without her notice until I was right behind her. Her sweet scent radiated off the pale skin and stunned me for a split second before I called out to her, shoving my hand in my jean pocket nervously.

“Bella?”

She gasped and spun towards me, causing the scent of her hair to swirl up my nostrils. It had a faint hint of strawberries to it, along with the lingering smell of tobacco. I cocked my head to side slightly, looking at her curiously, wondering what had made her start smoking in the first place as she ran her eyes slowly over my form before they came to rest at my face. I rubbed the back of my neck with my hand, wondering what to say and why she had been staring at my front door before I had said her name.

My eyes searched deeply into hers and they widened even more before they became blank and she blurted out her next sentence.

“I’m going grocery shopping, you want something?”

I stared at her, completely shocked with her sudden question, and by the expression on her face she seemed to be quite taken aback by her outburst. I saw her cringe at my face before she dropped her gaze and grazed her full bottom lip with her teeth. My gaze zeroed in on this action and I frowned at the stirring I felt deep within my lower abdomen as I watched her lips. I remembered she was awaiting a reply and I stuttered to find the right words.

“Uh...Thanks Bella but uh...” I stopped as I noticed her body slump slightly, and I suddenly felt guilty. I wasn’t used to interaction, and I hardly knew this girl and I wasn’t particularly fond at the idea of her buying things on my behalf. I took a deep breath and tried to explain this to her as best I could but she spoke again, her chin lifting defensively.

“Don’t worry, I mean I understand, I was just...uh...I was going anyway and thought I’d ask,” She tried brushing it off like it was nothing but the rejection was still strong in her eyes as she mumbled her words. I groaned at the look in her eyes and the dejected tone in her voice. There was no way I could leave her hanging like that.

I sighed as she hung her head and continued chewing on her lower lip, and I narrowed my eyes at her mouth, trying to figure out why this action had an effect on me.

“Sure” I muttered quietly. “Why not?”

Her head snapped up to mine and she exhaled loudly as she just gawked at me wide-eyed.

“What?” she breathed as she continued to gape at me, astonished, and I glanced up at her, running my hand through my hair as I thought about what I’d ask her to get.

“I’ll just uh, have some milk. Thanks” I mumbled incoherently, still feeling slightly uncomfortable with the situation, but also feeling as though I could deny her nothing. She let out a shaky breath before her face glowed and spread into a wide heart-warming grin. As much as I tried resisting, I found myself smiling with her too. I even let out a small chuckle and continued running my hand through my hair as I felt intoxicated with her presence and how she managed to get me to smile so easily. I needed to get inside and sort myself out. The feelings she was invoking within me, without knowing me was making me feel uneasy. I breathed a quiet laugh when I thought about how I wished I could feel these feelings this morning, and that now I was my first instinct was to run. I had to be in my own space, and she wasn’t helping the matter by blankly staring up at me, still with that addictive beaming grin plastered on her porcelain face.

I stared back at her, amused by her reaction to my acceptance of her offer. “So uh, I’m pretty sure the shop is downstairs and not outside my door.”

I looked at her curiously while her eyes seemed to blink back into focus. She continued grinning and bobbing her head enthusiastically and I had to hold in a laugh as she stuttered over her words. Her face warmed into a delicate blush as she babbled an answer to my question and she stepped around me eagerly. I laughed under my breath and shook my head slightly as I turned back to her.

“I’ll be like ten minutes?” she raised her eyebrows in question and I gave a single nod in return. She smiled wider at me and retreated down the hall walking backwards at a fast pace. Before I could react and reach her, she tripped over her own feet and fell on the floor with a loud thud. My arms immediately reached out for her but I drew myself back in. It wasn’t my place. I asked her if she was okay and she said she was, blushing and looking at me sheepishly before awkwardly turning away from me.

I turned around and quickly unlocked my door, stepping in before I spun around and leaned against my door frame, watching her tread carefully towards the elevator. I smirked at her efforts, and decided to warn her to be careful before I shut the door softly, laughing to myself. After a while my laughter died out and I suddenly became wary.

Shit.

What the hell am I doing? Why the hell did I say yes? Fuck, now that she was gone I was instantly regretting my decision.

I sighed heavily and pushed away from the door deciding to busy myself with some sit-ups before she came back. I walked over to the living room and situated myself on the floor, hooking my feet under the leather chair and pushing my sleeves higher up my arms. I started at a leisurely pace, evenly slow and releasing a heavy whooshing breath as I raised my upper half upwards, before lying back down.

After I had reached my twenty first, I heard steps outside the hall. I froze and concentrated on what I could hear, closing my eyes and breathing silently. I was trained for relying on my hearing more than my sight and would be able to distinguish how many there were and whether they were male or female quite easily.

The footsteps were heavy; too heavy to belong to Bella’s and were carrying a slight disjointed rhythm, proving that there was more than one. I raised myself up off the floor slowly and treaded to the kitchen, hastily opening up my small briefcase which carried some of my favourite guns. I took out my revolver and placed some of the bullets on the table as I slowly loaded the gun, still keeping my ears open and concentrating on what I could hear.

The footsteps were getting closer and I could hear at least five, maybe six male authoritative voices. Gripping my gun I walked over to the door, peeking through the spy hole. I immediately recognized the first man walking further down the hallway.

Aro.

He was highly involved with the different forms of organized crime. I had done plenty of work for him through Carlisle in the past, but that was only over things that could seriously jeopardize his high status within his office building. Anything else he usually went the personal route and killed them himself.

Something, which I was sure I was about to witness.

He had always been known to do small deals involving drug holding and various other small crimes just to keep the extra flow of money and to maintain the level of power he had. Carlisle had mentioned how he always had a love for control, and if the situation were to arise where he couldn’t control the person he was doing business with at the time, he never hesitated to kill them there and then.

The day he had been talking to who I assumed to be Bella’s father, I realized that he was on some form of illegal business but when I raised my eyebrow at Bella in question she just shrugged, unaware of the fact that her father was dabbling in dangerous territory. Thankfully Aro hadn’t even acknowledged me when he had walked past. For that I was thankful.

As they got closer to my door, the other guys who seemed to be heavily armed, fell back as if taking some given position, whilst Aro glided to the front, the same gentleman that was with him two days ago following closely behind, armed with an Ithaca 37 shotgun in his left hand.

This didn’t look good.

I pressed my face up against the door, listening closely to Aro’s words as he stopped outside Bella’s door to converse with the gentleman that was standing next to him.

“Ah,” Aro sighed, his shaky, ghostly voice vibrating through the door and into my ears.

“I like these calm little moments. Don’t you agree Felix?” he turned to the person who must have been Felix, waiting for an answer. Felix shifted his eyes nervously and bobbed his head.

“Sure Boss, Uhh, it’s noon, we should definitely go in there,” he announced, to which Aro nodded quietly and reached his hand into his suit jacket pocket.

“Shit,” I breathed, my eyes following Aro’s movement warily. When Aro was younger, but still extremely powerful there had been a foolish and unskilled hit man that had been sent to kill him. Aro had suffered from a bullet to the chest, but it had just missed his heart, puncturing his lung. When the bullet had been removed, Aro had requested he keep it, later demanding to get it welded into an improvised signet ring. He had murdered the hit man that had attempted to kill him, whilst wearing the ring made from the bullet that nearly killed him. It had become widely known that whenever Aro reached into his pocket, and slipped on the ring, that he was out for blood.

The silvery gold ring glistened as Aro pulled it out of the pocket and slipped it on his third finger of his right hand. He sighed softly, before his face screwed and he became abruptly angry, suddenly grasping Felix’s shotgun and pointing it at the door, blasting it open with a single shot and Aro kicked the door open as it rebounded off the wall from the power of the gun.

My heart was thudding in my chest, as I desperately listened for the movements of next door. I heard a high pitched female voice shrieking “Daddy!” numerous times before the shotgun blasted again, the girl’s voice immediately ceasing and I cringed, banging my head against the door. That was Bella’s family being killed, and she would be walking back home only to be possibly killed in the process. I clenched the gun tighter in my hand that was pressed up against the door in my hand. I would easily be able to take them out before Bella got back.

Just as I was about to unlatch the door, Carlisle’s words from my training years rang in my ears

“Never kill out of revenge Edward; that shit gets messy and you will most definitely end up getting killed because of it.”

I sighed heavily and relaxed my hand against the door latch, hating that I was standing behind a wooden door as I listened to Bella’s family get massacred. Another gunshot was fired, ringing through the walls before I heard Aro shout some orders.

“Demetri! Get outside the fucking door and make sure he doesn’t escape if we miss him. And don’t attract attention.”

Within seconds of hearing Aro’s voice, an olive skinned, stiffly built man stumbled out of the front door, his black boots laced with streaks of blood and he pulled a gun out of his belt, grasping it tightly and concentrating on the movements inside Bella’s apartment. I scratched my brow nervously, chanting over and over that hopefully Bella wouldn’t come back yet. I ran my hand through my hair, weighing my options on what I’d do if Bella suddenly appeared. Would I save her? It would be risking my own life, definitely, but did I care if it meant I could save an innocent girl?

Another shot shook me from my reverie. I noticed that the shot was different, not as loud and I knew it had been shot from a smaller less powerful gun, before I heard Aro’s loud cursing, and screamed orders to “Get him!” as a range of gunshots sounded through the walls. A loud thud and a flash of hair, the top of a man’s head just sticking out of the apartment door caught my attention.

Bella’s father. Dead.

The eerie silence filled the hallway and I could hear my heart thudding in my chest. Low murmurs could be heard next door before the worst sound imaginable at that precise moment filled my ears.

The elevator door chime.

I inwardly groaned as I saw Bella’s feet touch the carpet of the hallway. I had never felt so fucking nervous for another individual in all my goddamn life.

I held my breath, my mind having an internal battle of whether to save her from the wrath that was Aro or not, as she spotted the man standing outside her own front door, and her footsteps faltered slightly. I could clearly see her eyes widen and her expression change into one of shock...and fear.

“Fuck” I muttered, realizing that if this Demetri decided to alert Aro of her presence, she’d be as good as dead. Regardless of Carlisle’s words, I couldn’t let an innocent girl die whilst I watched. Yes he’d told me never to kill for revenge, but he also strongly stressed a rule which was even more important than that.

No women, no kids.

I was banking on it dawning on her that something was seriously fucking wrong and that she’d turn around, or at least go back in the elevator or some shit.; which was why I nearly had a damn heart attack when she carried on walking steadily towards her apartment. I could see the fear on her face and the way she nervously clutched the grocery bags in her hand.

Yet she carried on walking.

Out of the corner of the spy hole I noticed Demetri discreetly reaching for his gun and I gripped mine tighter in response, my other hand on the doorknob ready to put a bullet in his head if he tried anything.

I then remembered her father lying dead in her doorway and I cringed as I anticipated her reaction when she saw him. Although I could tell she was scared shitless, she had been approaching her door relatively calmly, but I knew that would change in a matter of seconds.

Bella slowly loomed closer with every step, and my breathing became heavier, my panic rising with her every moment.

“Make sure they’re all fucking dead, and carry on tossing the apartment. The cops will be here soon and we can’t afford for them to get suspicious on our asses so hurry the fuck up!”

Aro’s words carried through the walls and into the hallway around Bella the same time as recognition flashed across her face at his voice, something which, had I not been concentrating so closely on her face, I wouldn’t have noticed. I saw her tripping over her feet slightly as her eyes locked with the corpse lying in her doorway, and I breathed a sigh of relief at her lack of reaction, thankful that she hadn’t screamed or some shit like that.

My panic soon built again when she ducked her head and walked straight past her own apartment towards mine.

Although I could clearly see her pale face through the tiny glass hole, right outside my door, I still jumped when she lightly knocked.

Shit.

The whole world seemed to slow down after that first knock. My first instinct was to of course stay away, not draw attention to myself. It was how I had been trained to live and work. But something smaller, yet slightly growing was nagging at the back of my mind to open the door, to let her in and comfort her for her loss. She was only a girl for Christ sake.

“No women, no kids Edward. That’s the rules, their not to be victims in any way, shape or form.”

“Never let anything or anyone distract you from your work. You stay hidden if you want to stay alive”

I groaned as I thought about how, now at this moment in time, Carlisle’s words were completely useless and contradictory. Which goddamn rule do I follow?

No women, no kids – I open the door and save her life in the process.

Stay hidden – I stay put, standing behind this wooden door, ignoring her knocking watching her be killed along with the rest of her family.

By the time the second soft knock carried into my ears, followed by her gentle plea to open the door that had caused me heart to ache in an unfamiliar way, I was frustratingly scratching at the back of my head, and knitting my brows together, pulling away from the door, sticking with the second rule, only to be pulled back, as my mind screamed to go with the first.

And then the sight I saw in my peripheral vision solidified my decision.

Aro’s guard that had been standing outside Bella’s apartment door narrowed his eyes at Bella suspiciously, and had pulled his gun from the waist of his pants. My eyes zoned in on how his thumb was preparing to flick off the safety and before I could think, I had wrenched the door open and grabbed Bella stiffly by the arm, dragging her sharply inside.

I sighed loudly into the dark living room space as I came back to the present. Ever since I opened the door, I had regretted it, and yet I felt guilty for feeling such an emotion. Surely the fact that I had saved her life on impulse meant that I didn’t want her to die. But was this impulse based on the fact that I didn’t want her to die because she was innocent or because her mysteriously deep brown eyes had intrigued me since the first day I met her, and wanted to find out the secrets that lay within them?

These thoughts had constantly been on repeat since I had led her to the bedroom several hours ago. She hadn’t left the room since, and for this I was thankful. I was far too confused and frustrated to be any company to a young woman who had just lost her entire family.

A family which, I had earlier discovered, she had not seemed to care about losing in the first place.

Everything I had expected her to do or say, she had done the complete opposite. I had hoped that not admitting fully what my job was, she would lose interest and move on, but she had known what I had meant by ‘cleaner’ and had surprised me even more when she seemed uncaring of the fact that I murdered people for a living.

There was no denying the fact that this had piqued my curiosity towards her.

But that was irrelevant.

As much as I wished to deny it, she had become a threat the very moment she knew about my job.

The cool metal of the gun burned through the material around my leg, as if reminding me of my priorities through my hours of hazy indecisions. I brushed my fingers over the side of it lightly, the moonlight from the window casting a silvery glow across the edges of the barrel.

I knew it needed to be done, and yet the more I thought back to how her eyes widened when I had opened the door to her, the way her face relaxed into a strong sense of relief and the warm blush that had flooded her cheeks in the kitchen for a reason unbeknownst to me, the longer I sat in this chair, fingering the gun in my lap and avoiding making any movement towards the bedroom I knew she was occupying.

After a while I slumped in my chair, defeated and let my eyes close, deciding that I would approach the subject tomorrow once I had had some sleep and a shower.

Yeah, of course you will Edward...

Edward Masen: Hitman

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Chapter 5: Indecisions

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