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- Miss Shanice
- I'm a Daughter, a Sister, an Author, a Friend to many and a Student. And I love being each and every one of them.
Saturday, 6 March 2010
Chapter 11: No Roots
04:25 | Posted by
Miss Shanice |
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No Roots
Edward’s POV
With every exhale my breath projected a puff of steam as I briskly walked to Carlisle’s shop. Every other second my eyes darted around my surroundings, looking for a sign of danger, evaluating the pedestrians’ stance, posture, watching for any vehicles slowing more than the general norm.
The whole time my mind was reeling, processing everything that had transpired in the last hour or so.
Seventeen.
Seventeen.
She was seventeen
I pulled my brows together, refusing to dwindle on these facts, deciding to analyze and pick them apart later, when everything would be dark and quiet, and I wouldn’t have the distraction of warm brown eyes, and soft curves.
I pushed open the door; the familiar bells ringing from the contact, and briefly closed my eyes as warmth enveloped me. Sighing I removed my coat, smiling lightly as I spotted Carlisle’s form, his hands folded on the table in front of him as always, along with the same candle, burning brightly in the dimly lit room.
“Jesus Carlisle,” I muttered as I pulled out the chair, “Don’t you think you should lighten this place up a bit? For a restaurant it looks so morbid.”
Carlisle’s thin lips twitched into a small smile, as he continued looking at the candle calmly, watching the flame writhe and twist as it furiously burned the wax beneath it.
“If you had bothered to look at the sign on the door, it actually says we are closed.” His blue eyes slowly travelled to mine, amusement and mild curiosity swirling within them as he raised his hand and languidly gestured for me to sit down.
I shrugged as I fell into the chair, suddenly feeling exhausted, yet wary at the same time.
“I didn’t bother.” I replied absently as I rubbed my eyes roughly with my palms, feeling edgy and irritable and still unable to erase the memory of how Bella’s soft hips had felt underneath my hands.
“Edwar-“
“Yo Edward! Heard you had a little mistake earlier with a hard, intimate object of yours.” Emmett’s loud voice drifted from the kitchen as he casually strolled towards us, a smirk on his lips.
I frowned.
“What are you talking about?”
He snickered and I looked to Carlisle for some confirmation on what was so funny, only to find him fighting a smile himself as he continued looking calmly at me.
“Your gun Edward. He’s talking about your gun.”
I rolled my eyes, although a small chuckle escaped me as I played Emmett’s words in my head. Then something occurred to me, I had never told Carlisle it was my gun. I had made out that it came from next door, and involved Aro. Not me.
Swallowing thickly I calmly looked at Carlisle, but his eyes stayed fixed on the flickering flame of the candle below him.
“Some shit was going down next door,” I replied softly. “Where’s Jasper?”
“Job,” Emmett shrugged, and I nodded in understanding, running a hand through my hair and glancing at the clock. My eyes were instantly drawn to the mantelpiece below, and the small, framed photograph of my mother and father. The guilt and anger swept through me, as it did every day when I came into the shop, and a soft, yet firm hand was placed on my shoulder.
“It’s not your fault Edward.”
Shaking my head, I rubbed my face roughly with the palm of my hand, and Carlisle softly blew out the candle, and just like every morning since the I was twelve, he delved into the same conversation on how I wasn’t to blame for my parents’ death, and how I needed to stop dwelling on the past.
**
I unlocked the apartment door quietly as I balanced the bag of Chinese takeaway in my other arm. Entering, I heard the television from the living room and headed for the kitchen, pulling out the various boxes of food, and the cans of soda. I took them with me into the living room, and stopped short when I saw Bella’s body slumped over in the chair. Panic welled in me at the sight of her limp torso and arms, causing me to rush over to her before I noticed her lips spread and a soft sigh escaping from them.
Relief washed heavily over me, and I felt somewhat foolish for not assuming her to be asleep in the first place. I walked over to the edge of the chair, and lifted my hand to touch her shoulder, but a wayward lock of her dark hair slid over her cheek, obscuring part of her face. I swallowed as my fingers unthinkingly changed direction and swept the soft strands away from her face.
“Bella,” I murmured softly, feeling a small pang in my chest as her name escaped my mouth. I sighed and dropped my head back, my eyes level with the ceiling.
Seventeen
“Edward?”
I snapped my head up as her gentle voice greeted my ears. I felt a strange warmth spread in my chest as my lips tugged up into a smile
“Hey. I uhh, I brought food.”
Her eyes were seemingly dazed as they roamed lazily over my face, stopping more than once at the smile on my lips as I gestured to the small, round wooden table in the corner of the room. She gave a weak nod, and woodenly stood up, her face twisting into a wince, most probably from staying in such an uncomfortable position for so long. My hand longed to reach out and ease her pain; my fingers almost twitched at the prospect, but I remained still as I watched her trudge to the dining table and dig somewhat ravenously into her food. Guilt once again swept through me, only this time it was not over my parents, instead stemming from the fact that Bella seemed to be hungry, and I hadn’t even noticed.
“I think I’ll go grocery shopping tomorrow,” I spoke with a deep frown on upon my face, silently wondering at what to buy, and not knowing what an earth she liked.
I had never had to shop for more than one before.
“Really?”
Bella’s eyes snapped to mine, a radiant and hopeful smile on her face as her eyes glinted brightly. I wasn’t sure whether to feel even more guilty at the fact that she seemed so excited about something as trivial as grocery shopping, or immensely pleased that I had managed to say something that made her face light up like it had.
“Yeah, really, just uh, write some things down that you want on a sheet of...” My voice trailed off as I saw her face fall into a dejected frown and her lower lip slipped out into an infinitesimal pout. It was that same goddamn look she held when I told her No to the training earlier. It was uncomfortable, bordering on painful to witness, and I immediately wanted the smile back.
“It’s for your safety Bella, just for the time being,” I reassured her, hoping to pull her out of her sombre state, but her eyes still remained on her food, as she slowly chewed and nodded at my words.
We lapsed into silence then as we both ate. I racked my brain for any particular topic that she might be interested in. What were seventeen year olds into these days? I suddenly felt like I had been holed up into a world of nothing but my job. The biggest social event could be taking place down the street and I wouldn’t have the slightest clue.
“So,” Bella swallowed and glanced up at me through her dark lashes, “What’s the deal with the plant? I brought it in for you by the way; I noticed you don’t like it outside for any longer than a few hours.”
My jaw grew slack as I listened to her speak, shocked that she noticed such a thing in the short span of time she had been in my life, and it wasn’t like she noticed something trivial. It was something personal.
“Thank you,” I breathed, and then cleared my throat awkwardly, staring down at my food and twirling the noodles around my fork.
“As for the plant, well, I like to think that we have something in common.”
I looked up and smiled at Bella sadly as I watched her glance over my shoulder, into the kitchen, where I’m sure the plant was situated. She quirked a brow and slid her eyes back to mine.
“Really, You and a plant?”
I nodded, but didn’t comment, instead watching as her brows pulled together and she regarded me curiously.
“What do you have in common with a plant then, Edward?”
I stayed silent for a moment, considering my answer.
“No roots,” I murmured, more to myself as I folded my hands and gazed at them broodingly.
I heard Bella intake a small breath, but didn’t look up to see her expression.
“You have no family,” She whispered, her words sounding more like a curious statement than a question. I merely shook my head in response and prayed she wouldn’t be expecting an answer that would reveal more about my past. It had been eleven years, and I still couldn’t talk about it openly.
“Huh,” Was all her reply and I heard a light sigh before she spoke again, “Well, I guess I’m a bit like that damn plant myself then, no roots and all.”
Slowly I raised my head, levelling my eyes with hers. There was a slight smile gracing her lips which grew wider as I continued staring at her, and she tucked her hair behind her ears before looking down to finish off her food, not seeming bothered that I was still staring at her. I couldn’t help it; she never reacted in the way I would expect her to.
In that moment I felt more grateful for her presence than I ever had before.
“Yeah,” I whispered softly, “I guess so.”
Thursday, 4 March 2010
Chapter 10: Hesitations & Acquiescence
03:26 | Posted by
Miss Shanice |
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Hesitations & Acquiescence
Bella POV
I sighed and looked across the room to where Edward was sitting, hands in his lap and his head bowed slightly with furrowed brows.
“Edward?”
“What?” he muttered sharply. A flash of hurt contorted my facial features from the tone in his voice.
“Uh...I-We, uh, need to get some food,” I mumbled silently, feeling almost embarrassed for being hungry and disturbing his silent thinking. We had been sitting like this, him in a worn out brown cushioned seat and me on a wobbly wooden chair for at least an hour. I still hadn’t eaten any breakfast, and it was coming up to one in the afternoon.
To my horror a large gurgling sound rumbled in my stomach and vibrated through the tense space. I hid my face in embarrassment and heard a quiet sigh escape Edward, followed by his footsteps as he retreated from the room. After a moment he came back in wearing a long black coat. He pushed a pair of nondescript sunglasses, which were nestled between the locks of his messy bronze hair, down onto his eyes and his appearance looked to be almost dangerous. Almost.
“I’ll be back with some food,” he muttered, and seeing as I couldn’t see the green of his eyes through the glasses, I let my gaze focus on the movement of his lips as he spoke, still in awe at the graceful movements his mouth made as his tongue and lips shaped each syllable.
“Bella? Did you hear me?”
“Huh?”
I forced myself to look away from his lips and let my gaze travel upwards, only to be met with my own reflection from his glasses.
“I said don’t go anywhere while I’m away. Just... stay.”
I nodded and he replied with a stiff nod of his own, before turning and leaving the small motel room.
I frowned at the space he had just occupied, wondering what had gotten into him all of a sudden. I thought that maybe we had been making some kind of progress earlier. I couldn’t even describe the way his lips curled up into the warm smile he gave when I had heard him coming down the stairs back at the apartment building.
I knew it was silly but I honestly believed that he wouldn’t be coming back, and, as the minutes started to tick by where I crouched into the corner underneath the concrete steps, I had such a feeling of uncertainty and vulnerability. It was shocking how safe I actually felt with Edward, and how that had been the first time I had been away from him, and how, in the first few seconds of being away from him, I had been freaking the hell out.
I had considered going back up there, just to assuage my strained nerves with his presence when I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. I held my breath and clenched my hands into fists. Some part of me hoped it was Edward, but I realized his visitor would still be up there. Instead my eyes fixed upon an attractive, lean middle aged man. Just like Edward, his face held strong, angled features and the way he moved; with such precision and measured grace made me think that if it weren’t for the contrasting blonde hair and blue eyes, I would have assumed him to be related to Edward in some way.
I had pushed myself further to the wall and out of his sight when he had stopped in his tracks and glanced over his shoulder. My heart was straining in my chest as I had attempted to control my heavy breathing, certain that he had spotted me, but his shoulders just heaved as he let out a heavy sigh, and a small shake of his head, before he pushed the door to the exit, and disappeared from sight.
Coming back to the present, I pushed off of the wobbly chair and walked into the dim, small kitchen, deciding to distract myself by tidying up somewhat. But as I scrubbed down the dirty countertops with a dingy dishcloth that I found in the sink, my mind wondered back to the smile that had graced Edwards’s lips. How, with the action, his eyes squinted slightly, crinkled at the sides and the small strands of his copper hair dangled, haphazardly over his brow.
A soft voice brought me out of my daydreams and I swivelled round, startled at the silence of Edward’s return.
He frowned at my sudden movement, his glasses no longer covering the intense green of his eyes, and his hair, a flame of cowlicks that, in some places, curled at the tips.
“I brought some food,” His voice was soft, gentle; a soothing lullaby carrying out to a distressed child, coupled with a tone of apology.
I blinked, still momentarily dazed from how the softness of his voice had caressed my ears, smoothing out the jagged edges caused by the curt, sharpness of his voice from beforehand.
“Thanks,” I breathed, the smell of bread carrying out to me and reminding me of how hungry I actually was. I eagerly released the bag from his grip, brought it to the counter and unpacked the bread, cheese, ham, and of course I thought with a smile, two cartons of milk.
“So,” I cleared my throat as I began unwrapping the ham and cheese, “I’m gonna make some sandwiches, you want one?” I turned to face him, my eyebrows raised in advance for his answer.
But he was gone.
I frowned at his constant creeping around, and shrugged, deciding to make him one anyway. From what I had seen of him, he hadn’t eaten once, and he must have been hungry. My mind once again travelled back in time to the little things about Edward. His infatuation with that goddamn plant, how, when we first checked in, he immediately drew the curtains, save for nets in the kitchen, checked behind every single door, his eyes wild and dancing about warily as he inspected each room, before in the end placing the plant on the kitchen windowsill, with the window open, and collapsing onto the brown chair in the living room, his stance being the same until I had called out to him.
I found some plates in the cupboard and washed them with hot water twice before drying and placed the food upon them, carrying them out into the living room where Edward was, once again, slumped over his knees in the bleak brown chair. His eyes were tightly closed as he held his forehead in his hands, his pale fingers gripping tendrils of his hair.
I felt a pang of guilt in my chest at the tormented expression on his face, knowing that me being here was obviously causing the harshness in his demeanour.
“Here,” I murmured, holding the plate out to him. He slowly lifted his head and glanced at the sandwich on the plate, taking it gently from me and nodded minutely.
“Thanks,” he muttered, and sat back, placing the plate on his lap.
We ate our food silently, him still on the brown chair, me perched carefully on the unstable wooden one across from him. My eyes stayed fixed on him while he ate, but his eyes never left the food in his hands, until he finished, nothing on the plate save a few crumbs.
He cleared his throat and finally glanced up at me, his expression guarded, eyes expressing nothing but green and amber.
“I have a job tomorrow,” He announced. His voice still soft but somewhat bemused as he continued gazing at me.
I swallowed the last of my sandwich heavily, and nodded slowly, a nonsensical fear spread through me at the idea of him going out tomorrow to kill someone. A fear not for the person he was going to kill, but instead a fear of something going wrong for him and getting hurt, even though he had obviously been doing this for years, and was perfectly trained.
Like I said; nonsensical.
“Where?” I asked curiously, my eyes firmly fixed to his.
“Not far from here,” He replied evasively, a frown on his face.
“What if I need to go- “
“No,” He blurted out, interrupting my question with wary eyes.
“You can’t go anywhere Bella, Christ how many times do I need to tell you?”
I folded my arms and leaned back against the chair, my face appraising.
“I thought you didn’t want me here anyway? Why would you care if I went out and got a bullet in the head?”
Edward grimaced as I mentioned this and his face became hard as his eyes glared at me defensively.
“I didn’t,” he muttered sourly, his face contorted as if his own words confused him.
“Didn’t?” I pressed, starting to sound as confused as he looked, “As in past tense?... So... you do care now?” Hope swelled in my chest at the possibility of having him care about me.
“I don’t know,” he murmured, his eyes losing their hard exterior and melting into mine, his face became soft as he looked at me as if I held the answer to his doubts.
“Bella... I-” I blanched at the negativity in his voice as he said my name. The last time he spoke like that he was saying I had to leave, and I rushed to interrupt him.
“Teach me,” I blurted out unthinkingly, my heart picking up speed, anxious for his reply. As understanding reached his eyes, I saw them harden, and his face once again clenched and became guarded.
He had put his walls back up.
“No,” he glared at me, his expression dark.
“Edward please, I can’t stay locked up here forever, I mean... what about... school?”
Edward’s face looked horrified, his eyes wide in shock.
“School? How old are you Bella?” he asked and then tightly shut his eyes, as if bracing himself for the answer.
“Seventeen.” I replied hesitantly.
“Jesus,” he breathed through a sigh and stared at the floor pensively, his face somewhat disgusted. I hung my head in confusion at his expression as I felt my face warm.
“You can’t go to school. They would have been informed of your parents’ death, and Aro would know to look there first. Too dangerous,” He muttered as he stood up and walked over to the window, moving the curtain an inch and unmasking a slither of bright light into the dimmed room as he gazed out of it.
“As for the... teaching,” he said distastefully, as if the mere idea sickened him, “my answer still stands.”
He turned to me, giving me a look that said the matter wasn’t up for discussion. His gaze was firm.
My face fell and I waited for the defeated tears to spill down my cheeks as I nodded and averted my gaze. They never came.
“Okay,” I whispered; my voice small as I stared unseeingly at the floor.
He sighed, and when I brought my eyes back up at him, his face looked pained as he appraised my expression.
“Bella... I can’t; you don’t know what you’re asking!” He raised his voice, and pinched the bridge of his nose, his face scrunched up in frustration.
“But... But what about... the theory... like just the basics?!” My voice raised in desperation as I looked up at him pleadingly, “Just the basics Edward, like self defence and shit...” I winced at the ending of that sentence; me cursing at him wasn’t likely to help my case.
His lips twitched up into a small smile before his face calmed into a mask of thoughtfulness.
“The basics,” he muttered, more to himself as the silence wrapped around us, the room tense and awaiting his answer. His gaze stayed fixed on mine; perceptive green meeting ignorant brown.
I nodded, my eyes wide as I watched his face and body relaxing.
“Just the basics,” I repeated reassuringly.
He sighed heavily and dropped his head, shaking it from side to side,
“Okay...” he whispered, and I was sure that I hadn’t heard the word escape his lips; certain that in my hopeful state I was mistaken.
“... W-what?” I stuttered hesitantly.
“I said... Okay,” he sighed once again, and lifted his face up; his eyes defeated yet warm as they bored into mine.
I grinned and, without a thought launched myself out of the stupid decrepit chair, and flung my arms round his neck.
“Thank you, thank you! Oh I swear Edward I’ll- I’ll” Too excited, relieved and thankful of his acceptance, I couldn’t get out the words against his stiff neck.
Stiff neck. Shit.
My actions suddenly caught up with me and I froze, my eyes snapped wide open and stared over his shoulder in uncertainty. My mind told me to unlock my arms and put space between us.
My body didn’t listen.
I felt Edward’s chest expand as he inhaled deeply and his muscles twitched and moved as he brought his hands up to rest on my waist. The warmth of his hands burned into my skin, melting through the flesh and bone causing an involuntary shudder to escape me.
Edward cleared his throat and pulled away, his eyes warily darting around the room and not meeting mine. He nodded and swiftly met my gaze for a second.
“Uh... Okay then...” He trailed off and smiled awkwardly at me as my face flushed and I nodded back at him, now being the one to avert my gaze to the floor.
“I uh... have to go to Carl- Err... somewhere... I should be back. Soon.”
“Okay,” I replied quickly pretending not to notice his rephrasing. My mind spun at what sounded like the beginning of a name that he mentioned.
Carla? Carlie? Carline?
With a scowl I pushed the thought away and situated myself back on the wooden chair as he continued standing by the window.
“Don’t go anywhere Bella,” he commanded, his voice firm and serious. I nodded without meeting his gaze and he left the room, and then, the motel room altogether.
Refusing to mull over where or, who he could possibly be going to see, I focused instead, on the memory of his hands on my waist, and the warmth they caused to ignite within my body.
Chapter 9: Irrational Jealousy
03:25 | Posted by
Miss Shanice |
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Irrational Jealousy
EPOV
When I entered the kitchen, my previous assumption had been correct. Carlisle was seated at the kitchen table with his elbows resting on the surface, and his hands fisted to accommodate his chin.
I sat down opposite him and ran my hands tightly through my hair, gripping it roughly in my fingers, desperately trying to think about how to ease in the subject of my previous thoughts.
“Edward you seem to be on the edge about something...is everything alright?” Carlisle asked, his eyes no longer looked suspicious, or amused but lightly concerned. I decided that this was the best opportunity than any.
“I don’t like the fact that Aro is aware of my residence” I stated simply, praying he picked up on the bait.
“He saw you?” he asked, furrowing his brows and tilting his head questioningly.
I nodded and gazed at him, he seemed to be lost in his own thoughts, his brows still pulled together and his head bowed downwards.
“Did he say anything?” he murmured quietly into the space distractedly.
“No, but he did give me some kind of fucking look,” I muttered dryly desperately trying to keep up this bored, uncaring front without snapping. As every minute ticked by, Bella was coming closer and closer to the forefront of my mind. It wasn’t until Carlisle frowned at me and cocked an eyebrow that I realized I was bouncing my knee furiously, still running my hand through my hair, obviously fucking impatient to get back to Bella.
I stopped mid bounce and rested my palms on the table frowning down at my fingers.
“I think it best if I moved,” I spoke slowly, gauging his reaction closely, “Just in case,” I threw in for added measure.
“Move?” he snapped his head up at me, his face one of bewilderment for a few seconds, before a brief flash of suspicion flared in his eyes. I kept eye contact, but I could feel the obvious rise in my heart rate as his eyes continued to pierce through me. I was desperate to avert my gaze, almost squirming away from the power of his intense stare but if I looked away I knew that that would be pretty much revealing everything on the damn spot.
Carlisle’s lips twitched up into a knowing smirk and I furrowed my brows warily at him, wondering what the hell he seemed to find so amusing.
“If you think that is best...” he spoke calmly, his voice unwavering in the slightest and I stared at him wide eyed, stunned that he would agree so quickly. My shock suddenly turned into one of skepticism and I cocked a brow at him. I knew Carlisle would never approve of me moving home so easily. He liked me living above him, knew I was close for him to reach. I also knew it was for supervision reasons also. Carlisle preferred to know what I was doing. As much as I was sure he loved me like his own son, he was wary and suspicious of pretty much everything and everyone.
It came with the job.
“I… do,” I confirmed with a slow nod, watching him closely for any reactions but finding none. He wasn’t even looking at me anymore, his gaze instead was securely fixed to the kitchen floor, his brows furrowing and his eyes narrowing almost angrily.
I followed his gaze warily and had to desperately withhold the gasp that was threatening to rip from my chest.
Fuck
“…Edward?” his voice was low, and curious.
“…yeah?” I rasped, knowing what the question would be, but frantically trying to maintain the tiny façade of calm that was rapidly slipping away from my grip.
“Why is there a bullet firmly lodged in your kitchen floor, son?”
I exhaled a choppy, whooshing breath trying to come up with a quick response but finding none. If Carlisle hadn’t known me so well I would have claimed that I was being careless.
But he did. He knew me too well. I was never clumsy with my guns.
Ever.
I started mumbling, muttering complete and utter bullshit whilst my mind worked overdrive, hysterically attempting to find a plausible excuse for the fucking mess that Bella had created once her hands wrapped around my goddamn gun, but the thought of her name brought me back to the realization that she was, hopefully, still downstairs. I felt panic surge through me and ended up sighing heavily because Christ, all I wanted to do was to make sure she was still alive.
Since when did someone else’s safety overrule my own? Fuck
Carlisle lifted his head to look up at me, his eyes still narrowed, and I just stared back because I couldn’t think of anything.
After a while he sighed heavily and arched his brows, giving me a look that quite plainly said I’ll let this shit go for now, with extra emphasis on the “For now.” Shit.
“Let’s talk about jobs,” He spoke firmly and I sighed in relief nodding slowly.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small Polaroid picture of a middle aged man, he had greasy blond hair tied up into a ponytail at the nape of his neck and a sinister smirk on his lips as he looked off to the left. He slid it across the table and I grasped it softly, my eyes taking in his features slowly, burning him into my memory like I did with all my clients.
“This fucker has been an asshole to try and track down. He’s always on the run, fucking around with our friends’ business before moving onto the next city,” He spoke low, his voice laced with frustration as he continued to inform me of the whereabouts of this man in the photo.
“So what’s his name?” I asked once Carlisle stopped speaking.
“Well” he sighed, “He’s been known to have fucking countless names, and always only one. Never a surname or any shit like that. At the moment, he’s going by a James.”
I furrowed my brow and nodded, chucking the extra bit of information into the imaginary file in my head.
“I heard,” Carlisle continued, “that he will be residing in a building about twelve blocks from here tomorrow at 3pm. Are you free at 3pm tomorrow Edward?”
I looked up at Carlisle and frowned thoughtfully. He asked the same question with every job I had, and I had always agreed, because I always knew I would be free. But now? Now I had a girl downstairs who I had to take into consideration.
For the first time, I actually had to think about my answer.
I could see this fact had also shocked Carlisle as he was staring at me with his brows raised and his eyes wide. I would have answered without hesitation by now.
I sighed and nodded begrudgingly, because I knew me saying no would only cause more suspicion, and it was bad enough that I was already claiming my desire to get a different apartment. Granted he had taken that shit lightly, but refusing a job would never go down quite as well.
“Yeah. I’m free at 3pm tomorrow.”
Carlisle sighed and nodded his head. A breeze flew in through the kitchen window and we both glanced at my plant sitting on the windowsill; its leaves gently rustling against each other in a silent battle to gain the most sunlight and flourish.
I heard him chuckle silently to himself as he appraised the plant with amusement in his eyes. He never could understand my close interest with it, never realized just how similar me and the small potted object relishing in the warm breeze actually were.
Not many people did.
“Well…I should go. It seems everything is in…order,” he said slowly, his eyes flickering back to the bullet in the kitchen floor suspiciously.
I cleared my throat and stood up, running my hand through my hair trying to control my anxiousness to find Bella as to not rouse Carlisle into an even higher bout of suspicion. He stood up as well and I saw his eyes fix onto something else on the floor underneath my chair, his eyes narrowed once again and his lips pressed into a firm line, before he sighed and shook his head slightly, continuing to walk out of the kitchen and into the hallway.
I watched him curiously and decided to follow him into the hallway rather than lingering. He opened the front door and stepped out before turning around and facing me.
“You should come down later Edward. I do believe Jasper will be there with Alice,” Carlisle spoke softly, but his eyes seemed to be studying me closely.
“Yeah, I will Carlisle. I haven’t seen him in a couple of days.”
Carlisle chuckled and nodded his head.
“He’s no different, still smoking heavily” he replied dryly
“Disgusting habit” I muttered mostly to myself and Carlisle hummed thoughtfully, his brows furrowed at me and his eyes flashing with intense curiosity and amusement at my words.
“Is that so…” he murmured and tilted his head at me. I furrowed my brows at him, unsure of where exactly he was going with this, but he just laughed and nodded to himself as if confirming something.
“Remember Edward, 3pm tomorrow afternoon.”
I nodded and he turned around, walking briskly towards the stairs grumbling under his breath about something which I couldn’t quite distinguish.
I sighed and rubbed my face in relief as I made my way back into my apartment. I trudged back into the kitchen and froze when my eyes locked onto the small object situated underneath the wooden chair I had been sitting on when Carlisle and I had been talking. I groaned loudly in irritation, now understanding his behavior earlier.
Because there, lying crumpled and clearly noticeable, was Bella’s empty cigarette box.
Fucking cigarettes.
I growled and picked it up, throwing it in the trash firmly and furiously tugged at my hair as I gathered up all my ammo and firearms. I gently lifted my plant from the kitchen windowsill and shut the window peering out of it before closing the frail curtain.
I proceeded to gather the important things which I knew I would need for tomorrow, knowing that we would just be checking into a hotel for now, and grabbed my coat last; Bella now being at the forefront of my mind and my body almost aching to discover her presence, and know that she was still safe.
I shut my apartment door solidly, locking it before walking towards the stairs, my legs almost flying down them, knowing that each step brought me closer to the brown eyes and mahogany hair and frail, slim figure.
I felt my chest expanding almost painfully as I reached the last flight.
Closer, closer
And then finally, finally my feet collided lightly with the stone of the ground floor and a large breath escaped me when my eyes came into contact with her form, leaning up against the wall casually and her arms folded against her chest, her head bowed slightly and her bottom lip stuck firmly between her teeth. Her dark locks of hair flowing down her shoulder and against the subtle outlines of her collar bones.
Her small pale face lifted slowly, her eyes immediately meeting mine and I saw the relief flash in them as her lips turned up into a soft smile.
I couldn’t help it. I smiled the fuck back.
“So, who was the hot blonde dude with the fierce expression?” she asked nonchalantly, and my smile almost immediately dissipated, a flash of anger and light irritation surging through me at her words.
“My trainer slash father figure,” I grumbled walking over to her and stuffing the plant into her arms. “Don’t drop the plant,” I warned and she quirked a brow at me, but nodded nonetheless.
“So… where are we going?”
“A hotel,” I muttered, my face still contorted at her description of Carlisle. Did she really think he was hot? Christ, he was old enough to be her father. Did she like that type of thing?
Why the fuck do I care?
I opened the door and poked my head out; making sure no one was lingering outside of Carlisle’s shop. When the coast was clear I opened the door further and ushered her out, directing her in the opposite direction of his shop and put my coat on, pulling the collars up around my neck and slipping on my Ray Bans as my eyes flashed around me warily.
I proceeded to walk quickly towards the nearest hotel, sighing when I noticed Bella struggling to keep up. I slowed down and waited till she was walking beside me but she still continued to sometimes stumble, causing me to have to reach out and steady her on more than one occasion. I couldn’t help but sigh gently as the warmth of her skin burned through my fingers every time I reached out to her.
“Are you okay?” she asked at one point, and I gave her a curt nod in reply, my eyes still snapping to different directions, constantly keeping a look out for any suspicious lurking vehicles, not only to make sure no one followed us, but to distract myself from the unfamiliar emotion I could feel twisting in my chest, and constricting in my throat.
The emotion, which, only got stronger and more powerful every time I heard Bella’s words regarding Carlisle, on repeat in my mind. The more I thought about it I could feel the blood pressure rising, a red haze filling my vision.
And I knew it was ridiculous, completely irrational, and yet the emotion was still there, throbbing unpleasantly within me.
Fuck. I was jealous.
Chapter 8: Conflicted Minds pt 2
03:24 | Posted by
Miss Shanice |
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Conflicted Minds & A Rash Decision part 2.
EPOV
I should have known Carlisle would have gotten suspicious as soon as he heard gunshots. I was surprised he hadn’t mentioned the much louder shots from the shotgun in which Aro had used to blast through Bella’s apartment door yesterday, but I’m sure he could tell the difference between my apartment and anybody else’s.
But now, I was in an even greater problem. It was evident that, for some unfathomable reason, I was not yet willing to let Bella die. Every time I was sure I came up with the perfect answer, something would happen which put her life in danger and caused an unknown, and very unwelcome part of me to run and save her, and yet, as foreign as this feeling was to me, every time I did save her life, I felt less guilty, and more relieved.
I stared at the small screen on my cell which held the words of Carlisle’s texts. Like me, I knew he would be taking the stairs, which gave me approximately five minutes to figure out what I was going to do. Trying to prevent Carlisle from entering the apartment would be a futile attempt. He would be coming inside whether I liked it or not, and hiding Bella would only cause more suspicion for when he found her, which is something I knew he would do, whether it be from his own intellect or if I became so uptight and panicked about his presence that I would pretty much crack and present her to him on a silver platter.
I glanced at the watch on my wrist and ran my hand through my hair in frustration.
Fuck. One minute had passed already.
And now I had to ask myself, and seriously ask myself, what the fuck it was that I wanted, because that was the main reason why I was still standing here, phone in hand and me frowning at the screen whilst the precious seconds ticked by. After Bella’s stunt with the gun, I was now having an internal battle with myself as to what to do. After knowing how much of a danger she was to herself, would I be able to force her to leave without pursuing her shortly after and ensuring her safety?
Yes. No...Fuck I don’t know.
What I did know was that I wouldn’t be able to make a rational decision in...three minutes and forty seven seconds.
Shit.
I ran into the kitchen and noticed Bella was no longer on the floor but sitting at the table, her shoulders slumped and her eyes distant as she unseeingly gazed at the kitchen floor.
“Bella, get your sh- I mean your stuff. I need you to do something for me.”
I spoke firmly to her as I gathered up my guns and ammo, placing them in their allotted places in the small briefcase. I quickly glanced up at her but she seemed to be in a daze.
“Bella,” I repeated, walking over to her and folding my arms. She still didn’t seem to acknowledge my presence. I sighed and clenched my jaw, we had little time and I needed her to stay focused. I crouched down and grasped her shoulders softly.
“Bella, I need you to listen to me,” I spoke quietly, hoping to ease her out of whatever goddamn trance she was in. I saw the glaze in her eyes lessen fractionally, but it still wasn’t enough to bring her back to the present.
“Damn it Bella! Listen!” I growled, tightening my grip on her shoulders and she snapped her head up, her eyes finally fixing onto mine and widening as she stared back at me.
“Hi,” she breathed as her face coloured a soft pink, and in the emergency of the whole situation I still had to stifle a groan at the sight.
“Bella, you have less than two minutes to get your things together, no questions and no discussion. I need you to do it. Now!”
She stared at me silently, her mouth in the shape of a little ‘O’ and her brows furrowed in confusion. I narrowed my eyes at her, a silent reminder that there was hardly any fucking time and she quickly nodded, rising from the chair and disappearing from the kitchen. I stood, running a hand through my hair and glancing at the watch on my wrist.
Two minutes and thirty six seconds.
Shit.
Thankfully Bella reappeared within seconds with a black backpack over her shoulders. I nodded and held her elbow, guiding her to the front door hurriedly.
“Where are we goi-“
Once we reached the front door I spun her quickly facing me and ducked my head to meet bewildered gaze.
“Listen Bella, when this door opens, I need you to get into the elevator, and once you reach the ground floor, stay in the building.” I instructed her, emphasizing that she stay put once she left the elevator. I had put too much damn effort into saving her life, and seeing as the more judicious part of my brain which, knew it would be best for her disappear in the first place, wasn’t particularly interested in making an appearance, I didn’t feel like losing her any time soon.
“Someone is coming up to see me and you can’t be here. I will come get you afterwards and we’ll leave.” I continued but she started shaking her head at me, trying to escape the firm grip I had on her arm.
“This is just a ploy isn’t it? You won’t come,” she cried
“Bella!” I growled, losing my temper because there really just wasn’t enough fucking time. “If I was going to leave without you, it would be pretty nonsensical for me to send you to the same floor I would have to go to escape myself, don’t you think?”
Her eyes widened at the sharp tone in my voice and she drew her bottom lip between her teeth as her eyes lowered to the floor and she nodded slowly. I opened the front door a crack, making sure the hallway was clear.
“Remember, do not leave the building, and stay out of sight, Okay?” I asked in a rushed whisper, nudging her out of the door. My nerves were taut and strained as I watched her briskly walk down the hallway and press the button for the elevator, her stance awkward and shoulders hunched as her head warily turned from left to right.
I exhaled a sigh of relief when I saw her frail body disappear into the elevator and heard the grate of the doors closing. I decided to take a deep breath and lean against my door frame casually as I awaited Carlisle’s arrival.
A few seconds later, I heard the rhythmic steps of Carlisle echoing through the halls as he climbed the last flight of stairs. I could feel the nervousness creeping back with every rapidly mounting beat of my heart and I willed myself to calm the fuck out, knowing Carlisle would be able to detect the subtle differences in my behaviour from a damn mile off.
“I can tell when you’re nervous Edward; you need to cut that shit out if you want to survive in this world, son.”
A flash of blonde hair, and cool blue eyes caught my attention, and within seconds Carlisle was standing in front of me.
“Carlisle, I got your text,” I greeted him, my voice somewhat calm.
He hummed and looked over at the open doorway to Bella’s apartment.
“What happened here?” he enquired, his voice laced with curiosity as he stepped closer to the limp yellow duct tape and crouched to examine the dried in blood where Bella’s step father had lay.
“Aro,” I muttered dryly, not needing to say anything further. Just the name was enough of an explanation.
Carlisle snapped his head towards me, and raised one of his thick brows.
“Aro? Here? Whatever for?”
I stiffly kept eye contact with him, hoping my inner panic wasn’t being portrayed to him as I shrugged seemingly indifferent to the situation.
“Some drug holding went wrong, from what I gathered. The FBI was just here, I’m sure they were the gunshots you heard,” I said attempting nonchalance.
Dear god please fucking believe me
Carlisle continued to stare at me appraisingly, his eyes narrowing infinitesimally in suspicion and his head tilted at an angle.
“So...” I choked roughly and cleared my throat; I averted my gaze to the hallway hoping that Bella had listened to my earlier instructions.
“How’s Emmett and Jasper, I haven’t seen them in a while. I’ll have to stop by,” I chuckled lightly and rubbed the back of my neck before slowly dragging my eyes back to Carlisle’s.
Shit. He wasn’t just suspicious anymore. He looked amused.
“They’re just fine Edward, they were asking about you today. I was going to stop by anyway. Hope I wasn’t interrupting...anything?”
I felt the panic rise within me at his calm facade. Carlisle was most intimidating when he was calm and, whilst I hadn’t witnessed it before, I had heard that he could get even the toughest bastard to confess the darkest shit just with a look, and with the look he was giving me at the moment it was a statement I now sincerely believed.
“Let’s go inside shall we?” he spoke softly, his blue eyes still shining with inquisitive amusement as he brushed past me and into the apartment. I dropped my head, stifling a groan but allowed a heavy breath to whoosh out of my lungs as I silently congratulated myself on my current survival under pressure.
My thoughts drifted back to Bella of their own volition, and I couldn’t help feeling anxious about getting her back within my presence. There had been a dormant ache that flared to life as soon as the metallic silver doors closed her away from my view, and thoughts of her safety had constantly been churning in the back of my mind ever since. When I announced that it had been Aro that had caused the mess next door, a plan had began to form in my mind on how to get Bella and I out of this mess,
And fuck, yes I did just say Bella and I.
Although I knew that it wouldn’t completely solve the situation, it would only be able to postpone the imminent confrontation that would happen with Carlisle regarding her being here.
The sound of Carlisle loudly pushing out one of the chairs in the kitchen to sit on snapped me back to situation at hand. I could just imagine what his stance would be like; elbows on the table, fingers clasped tightly together holding up his chin and his gaze fiercely watching my every move.
With one last deep breath, I turned around and entered my apartment, shutting the door behind me and releasing a soft, weary sigh.
Time for round two.
Chapter 7: Conflicted Minds & A Rash Decision
03:22 | Posted by
Miss Shanice |
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Conflicted Minds & A Rash Decision
EPOV
I’ll admit, I was nervous. I killed dangerous, armed and well... fucking skilled men for a living without the slightest blink of an eye. Yet here, right in front of me, stands a young woman only asking to make a deal. I’ll admit I didn’t know what it was, but her eyes bright with amusement and a slyly sweet smile on her face and already I’m shitting bricks.
Fuck.
Admittedly this young woman had a peculiar effect on me. Whenever she bit her pouty, full lower red lip, I felt a stir of longing spark in my abdomen and trickle down to my groin, something which, until now I had refused to acknowledge. I knew she was young, barely reaching her twenties, but I was afraid to ask just how young she was. My brain secretly hoped she was much younger than me so that I could push away my ungodly thoughts; however my body sincerely wished she was legal.
In the early hours of the morning I could hear the paramedics in Bella’s apartment, removing the bodies, and speaking of how they couldn’t understand why the family would have been brutally murdered. Little did they know that they could have found the answers had they turned to a different sector within their building, and questioned the ghostly pale officer on the top floor.
I had had hardly any sleep; a lot of things had been running through my head when I was listening to the loud voices and movements from next door, one of them being Bella. I knew what I had to do, what Carlisle had constantly ingrained in my brain about my occupation. I also knew that if I killed her myself it would be something I just simply wouldn’t be able to live with. As much as Carlisle stressed the matter of self-preservation, killing her would feel like I was going back on the whole ‘no women, no kids’ rule.
One other thing which had sprung to my mind was Aro. As good as he was at covering his tracks with his past killings, he had let one slip this time round, and therefore his job would be in jeopardy knowing that there was essentially a witness to the whole thing who could get him fired, and even locked up. Not only a witness to him being the last person who had conversed with Bella’s step father, but being an occupant in the same household, and I knew that if Aro found her, he would kill her in a heartbeat. The day that I had allowed Bella in my apartment, I heard Aro asking if any of them had seen her, and cursing excessively that she needed to be found. Although Demetri had glanced at my door, with narrow suspicious eyes, he luckily didn’t pursue the matter, and told Aro that he hadn’t seen a young girl. I don’t know if he denied it because he truly didn’t believe that she was linked in any way, or if he had an underlying motive. Either way, it kept floating to the forefront of my mind and I knew I had to stay on the ball.
But then I asked myself why? Why did I have to stay on the ball? Why should I be worrying about this girl that had interrupted with my everyday routine of life with her problems? And that’s when I knew what it was I had to do. I knew I couldn’t kill her myself, something about her brought about a softer side to me, a side which I knew could be dangerous to me if embraced in my line of work, and so I needed to get rid of her, and fast.
And I planned to do just that, tell her to leave, knowing that I wouldn’t have to worry about being found out, because Aro would surely find her before she had the chance of blabbing to anyone about me. He would, effectively, do my job for me. And yeah that shit may have sounded cruel, but at the end of the day, that’s life. So with newfound determination, and satisfaction that I had solved my predicament, I decided to get back into my daily routine and got up, shrugging out of my shirt and laying on the floor, preparing to do a few hundred sit-ups, as I had every morning when there wasn’t a female guest staying down the hall.
After the first fifty or so, I noticed the sky brightening, the daylight slowly trickling through the windows and steadily pouring every dark corner of my living room with light. I carried on pushing my chest up towards my knees, revelling in the intense burning of my muscles screaming out in protest as I pushed myself further, faster, harder while my breathing spiked up, and the sweat gathered on my forehead as I continued counting silently to myself. After I had passed my seventieth I heard the door down the hall open, and I carried on lifting myself up, trying to get in as many as possible before she came in and I had to deal with the situation in hand. My heart-rate spiked even higher as her footsteps neared closer before they faltered at the living room door. When I head her silent gasp as she reached the living room, something within me told me to push myself farther, not to stop and to let her watch. After a while, I greeted her, and relished in the blush that attacked her cheeks as she looked down at the floor.
I felt assured that, when she nodded as I told her to make herself some breakfast, she would be safe and I would be able to take a shower without worrying about her safety. I also scolded myself for thinking like that when I would be tossing her out of my place within half an hour, and so pushed the thought to the back of my mind.
However, when I exited the shower, got dressed and went to talk to Bella, only to find that she was no where to be found I couldn’t help the panic that struck me. I could feel the dread trickling through my nerves as I went into the spare bedroom to see if she had retreated there, only to find it empty. My mind automatically came to the conclusion that she had been taken and was already thinking of different strategies on killing whoever the fuck it was who had her. I tried to think rationally as I grabbed my gun from the side table next to the leather chair and cocking the lever back, reassuring myself that she couldn’t have gotten that far, and that if I left now I would hopefully be able to trace her.
I flew open the front door, but then immediately stepped back as I saw two figures retreating towards the elevator. Their uniform informed me they were the FBI, and I noticed the torn yellow duct tape fluttering uselessly against the door frame to Bella’s apartment. I treaded silently but swiftly inside, focusing my ears on any sounds. I could hear faint rustling from the living room, along with strained heavy breathing.
Bella.
My body relaxed slightly and I exhaled a silent breath of relief, pushing my gun into the holder around my waist and folding my arms stiffly. My panic had dissipated, and in its place came anger, and irritation at how she could be so careless with her own life.
After questioning her on why she had left, I had to remind myself that I needed to get a grip. She wasn’t my responsibility and the sooner I could register that fact, the sooner I could get back to doing my job.
But as Bella stared at me with those bright swirling brown eyes, and her full red lips were curled into a sweet smile, the only thing that was in my mind was how she effected me, and how it was difficult for my brain to process any rational thoughts. While I gazed back at her, I admittedly was feeling quite vulnerable.
Which was ridiculous.
I never felt vulnerable.
I shifted in my seat as she came closer still, I couldn’t help my eyes instinctively flashing to my gun on the table, I knew she wasn’t a danger to me, but I was trained to severely damage anyone who entered my personal space and pressurized me into an uncomfortable position. My eyes refused to meet hers, knowing that I couldn’t afford to be trapped by her stare, however she seemed to notice my hesitance, and ducked her head, tilting it, trying to meet my eyes, only for me to dodge them, not before catching the smirk on her face as she stood right in front of me, and dropped to her knees.
My body automatically stiffened, muscles coiled and locked, ready to spring in defence as the fall brought her even closer to me, her torso just a few centimetres from my knees. I held my breath and closed my eyes tightly shut, willing myself to relax and just let her speak so I could calmly ask her to retreat back to her seat.
“Edward?” her calm voice rang out to me softly.
“Yes Bella...” I hesitated, jaw clenched, opening my eyes but not looking at her, instead frowning down at her position on the floor. It was only then that the smaller part of my brain noticed the position she was in:
On her knees, leaning relatively close to my lap.
I tightly shut my eyes again and my hands which were resting on my thighs balled up into fists as I prayed that this situation wouldn’t spark off any crude images in my mind, knowing that, had I re-opened my eyes and focused on the delicate heart shape of her face, the soft creaminess of her skin, and the plumpness of her lips my prayers would immediately go unanswered.
“How about this” she spoke softly, “I work for you and in an exchange you teach me how to...” she trailed off as I snapped my eyes open, ultimately distracted from my earlier predicament by her words.
“clean.” She whispered, finishing her sentence as her eyes widened and her eyebrows rose, silently pleading me but I focused my attention past her shoulder, staring at the plain plastered wall behind the small kitchen.
“I’ll do anything Edward” she continued pleading, “I’ll get the grocery shopping, ill cook, I’ll clean, and I’ll even wash your goddamn clothes.”
I cringed at her words, my eyes still focused firmly on the wall and not on her face. The idea of her working for me was simply absurd, but more than that, the idea of me teaching her how to be like me was even worse. She shouldn’t want to learn how to be a killer, having to struggle with keeping her humanity after ending lives on a daily basis. Having to draw away from society and focus solely on your job, and extensively keep your body in shape. The training never ended in my life, I always had to work on getting better, keeping fitter, being a quick learner.
Being a quick murderer.
“Edward?” she spoke softly, bringing me back from my thoughts and I finally slid my eyes to her face, her expression was tight, her lips in a small pout bracing for whatever my answer was, but as I looked into her eyes, I saw the small flicker of hope there. I looked past her again; silently angry and disgusted that she should be so hopeful as to become the creature that I was.
I woodenly shook my head at her, too angry at myself to form words. I had introduced her to my environment, and effectively tainted her. I had already ruined her life the moment I let her inside my home, and she discovered the suitcase of guns lying on my kitchen table. She was an innocent, had harmed no one, or done anything to deserve such a fate, and yet here she was, poisoned by my lifestyle and oblivious to it.
I was a monster.
“I promise I would learn quickly Edward, I wouldn’t be a trouble” she spoke hurriedly, her voice rising in pitch and desperation as I continued shaking my head. She rested her hands atop of my knees and I visibly tensed as the warmth of her fingers burnt through the fabric of my jeans, warming my skin as she continued to hysterically babble words at me.
“...and I’ll do everything around this place, and I won’t interfere with your personal life or anything but I need this Edward, I need you to te-“
“No” I replied firmly, trying to end the discussion, flinching from the pleading tone of her voice.
“Please” She begged, her hands grasping my knees tighter as her wide brown eyes stared pleadingly up into my own.
“I just...I’m sorry, but I don’t think you’d be able to do it Bella” I muttered as softly as possible, trying not to sound too harsh but firm enough so that she knew I wasn’t going to change my mind. Her jaw clenched and her eyes flickered to the hand gun on the table. I saw the determination flash in her eyes and knew what was coming next.
Shit.
My mind processed her quickly lifting herself from the floor and swiftly grasping her hand incorrectly around the gun. Knowing that this wouldn’t end well I leapt out of the chair; flashing my arm out and caught her wrist whilst my other arm snaked around her waist tightly. However, the shock of my actions caused her to gasp and squeeze the trigger clumsily and the loud noise of the bullet tearing through the ceiling resounded through the room, the limp grip she had on the gun caused the recoil to shoot up her arm violently which, in turn, caused her to do possibly the worst thing there was, and dropped the gun. My body flew into action as I cursed and wrapped both arms around her causing her to cry out as I flung her around, dropping us both to the floor immediately as the second bullet rebounded and tore through the linoleum floors of the kitchen.
We were both breathing heavily, as the kitchen became laced with thick silence apart from our laboured breaths. I roughly pushed myself away from her as she whimpered against the kitchen floor.
“What the hell Bella! Jesus Christ do you have a death wish?!” I yelled angrily, “was that your way of proving to me how good you could be to learn?!” I knew I needed to get a grip on myself and calm down, none of it was technically her fault, but I couldn’t help the blazing anger that soured through my veins and burned under my skin. She could have killed herself from her stubborn attempts to prove me wrong.
“What do you want me to do?!” she cried at me as she pushed herself up from the floor and wrapped her arms shakily around her knees, “I have no place to go Edward. I’m not stupid; I know that if I step outside that door they’ll kill me”
“With that stupid stunt you just pulled you’ve nearly done their job for them” I snarled back at her, reaching for the abandoned gun and quickly flicking the safety on before placing it back on the table.
I took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of my nose, closing my eyes and trying to ease my anger away. I was rarely ever like this, especially in the presence of female company, but I concluded that it was something about this female company that made me react in such a manner, saving her life one minute to preparing to shoot her the next, to deciding to just get her to leave instead, and ultimately saving her life in the process, yet again. Fuck it was tiring.
The buzzing of my cell snapped me out of my reverie and I sighed heavily before walking past Bella who was still sitting on the floor, her arms wrapped tightly around her knees and her eyes flicking to the gun on the table warily. I figured she had learned her lesson and so wasn’t worried about leaving her in the same room as the firearm. I walked into the living room and picked up my cell phone and flipped it open to find a new text message from Carlisle.
I heard gunshots, I’m coming up.
Shit.
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