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I'm a Daughter, a Sister, an Author, a Friend to many and a Student. And I love being each and every one of them.
Saturday 6 March 2010
No Roots
Edward’s POV

With every exhale my breath projected a puff of steam as I briskly walked to Carlisle’s shop. Every other second my eyes darted around my surroundings, looking for a sign of danger, evaluating the pedestrians’ stance, posture, watching for any vehicles slowing more than the general norm.

The whole time my mind was reeling, processing everything that had transpired in the last hour or so.

Seventeen.

Seventeen.

She was seventeen

I pulled my brows together, refusing to dwindle on these facts, deciding to analyze and pick them apart later, when everything would be dark and quiet, and I wouldn’t have the distraction of warm brown eyes, and soft curves.

 I pushed open the door; the familiar bells ringing from the contact, and briefly closed my eyes as warmth enveloped me. Sighing I removed my coat, smiling lightly as I spotted Carlisle’s form, his hands folded on the table in front of him as always, along with the same candle, burning brightly in the dimly lit room.

“Jesus Carlisle,” I muttered as I pulled out the chair, “Don’t you think you should lighten this place up a bit? For a restaurant it looks so morbid.”

Carlisle’s thin lips twitched into a small smile, as he continued looking at the candle calmly, watching the flame writhe and twist as it furiously burned the wax beneath it.

“If you had bothered to look at the sign on the door, it actually says we are closed.” His blue eyes slowly travelled to mine, amusement and mild curiosity swirling within them as he raised his hand and languidly gestured for me to sit down.

I shrugged as I fell into the chair, suddenly feeling exhausted, yet wary at the same time.

“I didn’t bother.” I replied absently as I rubbed my eyes roughly with my palms, feeling edgy and irritable and still unable to erase the memory of how Bella’s soft hips had felt underneath my hands.

“Edwar-“

“Yo Edward! Heard you had a little mistake earlier with a hard, intimate object of yours.” Emmett’s loud voice drifted from the kitchen as he casually strolled towards us, a smirk on his lips.

I frowned.

“What are you talking about?”

He snickered and I looked to Carlisle for some confirmation on what was so funny, only to find him fighting a smile himself as he continued looking calmly at me.

“Your gun Edward. He’s talking about your gun.”

I rolled my eyes, although a small chuckle escaped me as I played Emmett’s words in my head. Then something occurred to me, I had never told Carlisle it was my gun. I had made out that it came from next door, and involved Aro. Not me.

Swallowing thickly I calmly looked at Carlisle, but his eyes stayed fixed on the flickering flame of the candle below him.

“Some shit was going down next door,” I replied softly. “Where’s Jasper?”

“Job,” Emmett shrugged, and I nodded in understanding, running a hand through my hair and glancing at the clock. My eyes were instantly drawn to the mantelpiece below, and the small, framed photograph of my mother and father. The guilt and anger swept through me, as it did every day when I came into the shop, and a soft, yet firm hand was placed on my shoulder.

“It’s not your fault Edward.”

Shaking my head, I rubbed my face roughly with the palm of my hand, and Carlisle softly blew out the candle, and just like every morning since the I was twelve, he delved into the same conversation on how I wasn’t to blame for my parents’ death, and how I needed to stop dwelling on the past.

**

I unlocked the apartment door quietly as I balanced the bag of Chinese takeaway in my other arm. Entering, I heard the television from the living room and headed for the kitchen, pulling out the various boxes of food, and the cans of soda. I took them with me into the living room, and stopped short when I saw Bella’s body slumped over in the chair. Panic welled in me at the sight of her limp torso and arms, causing me to rush over to her before I noticed her lips spread and a soft sigh escaping from them.

Relief washed heavily over me, and I felt somewhat foolish for not assuming her to be asleep in the first place. I walked over to the edge of the chair, and lifted my hand to touch her shoulder, but a wayward lock of her dark hair slid over her cheek, obscuring part of her face. I swallowed as my fingers unthinkingly changed direction and swept the soft strands away from her face.

“Bella,” I murmured softly, feeling a small pang in my chest as her name escaped my mouth. I sighed and dropped my head back, my eyes level with the ceiling.

Seventeen

“Edward?”

I snapped my head up as her gentle voice greeted my ears. I felt a strange warmth spread in my chest as my lips tugged up into a smile

“Hey. I uhh, I brought food.”

Her eyes were seemingly dazed as they roamed lazily over my face, stopping more than once at the smile on my lips as I gestured to the small, round wooden table in the corner of the room. She gave a weak nod, and woodenly stood up, her face twisting into a wince, most probably from staying in such an uncomfortable position for so long. My hand longed to reach out and ease her pain; my fingers almost twitched at the prospect, but I remained still as I watched her trudge to the dining table and dig somewhat ravenously into her food. Guilt once again swept through me, only this time it was not over my parents, instead stemming from the fact that Bella seemed to be hungry, and I hadn’t even noticed.

“I think I’ll go grocery shopping tomorrow,” I spoke with a deep frown on upon my face, silently wondering at what to buy, and not knowing what an earth she liked.

I had never had to shop for more than one before.

“Really?”

Bella’s eyes snapped to mine, a radiant and hopeful smile on her face as her eyes glinted brightly. I wasn’t sure whether to feel even more guilty at the fact that she seemed so excited about something as trivial as grocery shopping, or immensely pleased that I had managed to say something that made her face light up like it had.

“Yeah, really, just uh, write some things down that you want on a sheet of...” My voice trailed off as I saw her face fall into a dejected frown and her lower lip slipped out into an infinitesimal pout. It was that same goddamn look she held when I told her No to the training earlier. It was uncomfortable, bordering on painful to witness, and I immediately wanted the smile back.

“It’s for your safety Bella, just for the time being,” I reassured her, hoping to pull her out of her sombre state, but her eyes still remained on her food, as she slowly chewed and nodded at my words.

We lapsed into silence then as we both ate. I racked my brain for any particular topic that she might be interested in. What were seventeen year olds into these days? I suddenly felt like I had been holed up into a world of nothing but my job. The biggest social event could be taking place down the street and I wouldn’t have the slightest clue.

“So,” Bella swallowed and glanced up at me through her dark lashes, “What’s the deal with the plant? I brought it in for you by the way; I noticed you don’t like it outside for any longer than a few hours.”

My jaw grew slack as I listened to her speak, shocked that she noticed such a thing in the short span of time she had been in my life, and it wasn’t like she noticed something trivial. It was something personal.

“Thank you,” I breathed, and then cleared my throat awkwardly, staring down at my food and twirling the noodles around my fork.
“As for the plant, well, I like to think that we have something in common.”
I looked up and smiled at Bella sadly as I watched her glance over my shoulder, into the kitchen, where I’m sure the plant was situated. She quirked a brow and slid her eyes back to mine.

“Really, You and a plant?”

I nodded, but didn’t comment, instead watching as her brows pulled together and she regarded me curiously.

“What do you have in common with a plant then, Edward?”

I stayed silent for a moment, considering my answer.

“No roots,” I murmured, more to myself as I folded my hands and gazed at them broodingly.

I heard Bella intake a small breath, but didn’t look up to see her expression.
“You have no family,” She whispered, her words sounding more like a curious statement than a question. I merely shook my head in response and prayed she wouldn’t be expecting an answer that would reveal more about my past. It had been eleven years, and I still couldn’t talk about it openly.

“Huh,” Was all her reply and I heard a light sigh before she spoke again, “Well, I guess I’m a bit like that damn plant myself then, no roots and all.”

Slowly I raised my head, levelling my eyes with hers. There was a slight smile gracing her lips which grew wider as I continued staring at her, and she tucked her hair behind her ears before looking down to finish off her food, not seeming bothered that I was still staring at her. I couldn’t help it; she never reacted in the way I would expect her to.

In that moment I felt more grateful for her presence than I ever had before.

“Yeah,” I whispered softly, “I guess so.”